ahhh, the holidays.

yesterday we went on an official sharpory excursion to the muir woods national park in marin county(along with most of the people in the greater san francisco bay area)...the moss-covered redwoods were quite majestic. "hiking" on the asphalt and redwood boardwalk was a new experience.

my birthday and christmas were beautiful...had a great time with bethany's family and mine. i really do love the sounds and scents of the holiday season, time spent with friends and family.

i have spent a lot of time thinking lately about my desire for a more integrated and centered life for 2008.

bethany and i have pursued our dream of obtaining training and experience to serve the poor in the forgotten places at a frenetic pace for the last 3 years. i have no regrets about this, but i find myself forgetting how to live in the present, to be mindful of the current reality. this is something i am shooting for in 2008: to be more centered and integrated, more balanced. ryan wrote a great post about some of the stuff our household has been into.

may this be a year of greater peace and wholeness, of doing beautiful things in the world.

world famous chicken pot pie.

last night, ryan & holly took me and bethany out for my birthday at the Liberty Cafe up the street on Cortland, the main drag for the bernal hill neighborhood. it was cold, wind gusting down the street as we sat in the small bakery/cafe/wine bar, drinking pellegrino, a wonderful zinfandel, and enjoying ridiculously good chicken pot pie. i love my housemates (including paxton, who was sending me good vibes from his crib at home).

when i got home, a small group of people were waiting for me with fine wine and open arms. i felt loved and honored for my early birthday. thanks to all for making me feel like i belong.

photos

this is pax's guitar...i'll be using it on my next album

a wee bit inspired

i have been writing some music lately, like every day for the last 4-5 days. i don't know what it is, perhaps the fact that i have time to do it. or perhaps it is the fact that i live in a house with an abundant amount of creative energy...thank you sharps.

one of my new year's resolutions is going to be to record 5 full songs...we'll see how it turns out. my musical brain has suffered some atrophy over the last few years...but it feels so good play guitar again.

now, to decide whether i'll actually be singing or screaming......or both?

in a quiet moment

i am thankful for a couple days free from the emotional and intellectual burdens of school. i tend to do a quick internal inventory of(read: question) the path we are on....it's ironic sometimes that school sometimes feels like a distraction from the "master plan" even as it is an essential piece to enabling us to pursue our dreams.

the weather has been cool, clear and beautiful up here.

i learned today that when eating Thai food, get red curry dish, get pad thai, and mix them together. very good.

i am alive.

i'll skip the disclaimer about why i haven't been blogging.

--really though, betty and i are so happy to have our housemates back rom their tour/pilgrimage. we love sharing life with these three. ryan chronicled their journey...his blog is a great read.

--finished another semester of grad school. master's degree in august of next year. now, to write that thesis....

--Bethany and I are part of a community up here called SEVEN. on dec. 2, we joined with our fellow peeps and took our seven vows for the next year: love, community, simplicity, creativity, prayer, service & obedience. we are excited for another year of attempting to live into a new way of life together.


--Our dear friend Daley Hake was just in town for a few days. we slapped on our best Christmas sweaters, drove south down the pristine coast a ways, and sawed down the Sharpory Christmas Tree. I carried that redwood beast on my back all the way to the car. Oh yeah, Daley takes rocking pictures.

Daley



A couple more pics Daley took:

me & pax.




me doing what i often do....ridiculousness.







Daley took this picture of my beautiful wife bethany in our garage.






thats all for now. peace.

oakland

the city of Oakland has had a few things go down in the last couple of days:

*A widely known and respected journalist was murdered in broad daylight for the story he was working on related to a bakery and a kidnapping/torture/murder in East Oakland

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/08/04/journalist.slain/

*5 people were killed in apparently isolated instances in Oakland, all of them taken to Highland hospital (my workplace) where they were pronounced dead

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/08/04/BAGV0RD3AE4.DTL

God, have mercy on this city which at times seems inundated by darkness and violence.

Shinto Peace Prayer

Although the people living across the ocean surrounding us are all our brothers and sisters why, Oh Lord, is there trouble in this world? Why do winds and waves rise in the ocean surrounding us? I earnestly wish the wind will soon blow away all the clouds hanging over the tops of the mountains.

sicko

please go see sicko. this movie is pretty amazing. yes, michael moore is a polarizing figure. yes, he has been accused of various offenses in his negative portrayal of the american system and being starry-eyed over france, britain and (noooooooo....)cuba. forget all of that for 113 minutes and check this one out. i was in tears several times (so what if i'm a male nurse? you got a problem?).

seriously, i hope something changes...i work day in and day out with people who have been so jacked by the system...hell, i am a part of this apparatus; however, i know that i am making a difference in their lives, attempting to show them a new way of love...i am fast gaining a reputation at work as the guy who will feed everybody multiple hospital sandwiches, even the so-called "frequent flyers", homeless dudes who show up every night to sleep off their toxic blood alchohol level...who couldn't use a sandwich or 4 for the road?

i'm back.

i have been a naughty blogger...i'll try to check in more frequently.

bethany and i both worked 6 of the last 7 nights. wow. surprisingly we were able to get into somewhat of a nocturnal rhythm during our miniature rat race marathon....however, we now have 7 glorious days off--days in which we must complete 4 final papers-> this semester is hell. i personally enjoyed getting into a good working rhythm and it really allowed me to immerse myself into the subculture of the work environment of which i am now a part and get to know some of my co-workers.

i feel like i have seen quite a handful in the last week, including a person whose heart literally stopped beating in front of me (no, seriously, i was looking at the cardiac monitor as it happened, i yelled "code blue!"......


sweat poured from my arms, cascaded from my hair...i continued to pump this woman's reluctant heart for her...my whole body moved rhythmically, my own heart pleading for her as the jackhammering motion of my hands became the fragile bridge between life and death. if i stop, she dies. if i don't stop, she may still die, but her body may awaken, thanks to some unknowable algorithm composed of spiritual, medical and mechanical forces. you see, during CPR (or a "code blue" in hospitalspeak), those who are performing chest compressions to circulate life-sustaining blood, oxygen and nutrients to the body's tissues are supposed to switch with others in the room frequently to avoid decreasing the quality of chest compressions, and thus inefficient circulation. i refused to let anyone take over for me...i told my body to shut the hell up as my arms burned and my calves felt like they were on fire. i felt a connection to this person lying on the gurney, naked, most likely poor, barely having lived 50 years on this earth. with a few short breaks, i am sure that i did at least 40 minutes worth of continuous CPR...with one of the doctors feeling for a pulse as i tried to coerce her failing body to function once again. i guess it was her time. she did not make it, and as her family showed up to see their mother/daughter/wife/aunt, tubes, lines, cords strewn about her broken body, they seemed to be at peace with what had happened. i suppose that is some consolation.


in such a diverse environment as the one in downtown Oakland, people deal with death in such different and interesting ways, getting angry, or crying, rubbing herbs and balms on the body, praying, lying the body on the floor.....there is something beautiful about seeing something many centuries old being practiced..almost performed it seems.

so some lady in a suburban crashed into me on the way home from work yesterday...i was turning right at a green light, and she crashed into my rear driver's side door. anyhow, she was very angry with me and felt like i swerved and crashed into her. the point being i really thought that this lady was one of my former patients!! funny how things happen. i hope this isn't karma. well, my car was damaged, hers was fine, and she told me that she was not hurt (i had scrubs on and all, i'm SURE she would've told me if she were hurt). i called the insurance company, gave a statement and come to find later that the other driver has filed a dispute about the accident, and is claiming bodily injury and vehicular damage. i have now been on the phone more than once, being recorded for half an hour with people asking me what happened, and such details as "did the marks separating the lanes have any reflective surfacing?" come on, that's just ridiculous. during one of my recorded monologues i went peacemaker-status on their lawyer asses...really though, i did spend a couple minutes articulating my desire for peaceful revolution to this. the lady seemed pretty angry at me.


well that's probably enough for now, ya think?

oblivion

yesterday morning was the end of a 3 nights-in-a-row stint at work...my first night shifts in a long time as well. i drank more coffee than i can remember to stave off sleep and delirium; i'm sure it was not a healthy decision. anyhow, i survived, my patients were safe, and i only have 3 more shifts with somebody looking over my shoulder.

i am looking forward to 4-5 days off reconnecting with friends and catching up on schoolwork.

being a nurse in oakland is exceeding my expectations. daily i have the opportunity to meet and touch the poor and forgotten of our society; they know their place...they know how much of the world views them: homeless, drug addicted, irresponsible. i dig the chance to break through some of that, even if just for a few hours, and show them a new way of love.

tribute to rick

my dad rick gregory, at the culmination of a 30+ year journey and dream, graduated from the cal poly pomona's school of agriculture with a degree in animal science..(magna cum laude, i might add). this is a man who walked away from a career in which he was making more money than most...a "successful" man in the eyes of many. post 50 years old, head full of grey hair and aspirations of creating good in the world, he fled the rat race for a new journey. rick is the only person in his family who has completed college, and his parents came to see their 53 year old baby with cap and gown on. he (along with my mom, who has completed her bachelor's, nursing school and is pursuing her master's)will use the knowledge and skills acquired during school to empower the forgotten peoples of the world, those caught in vicious cycles of poverty, more specifically in southern uganda, to a group of indigenous people called the Batwa.

dad, i love you, and i am so proud of you. may this be one of many markers on the path you are on toward bringing greater peace and wholeness to this world.

so tonight was the Cobalt Season's album release party in San Francisco. it was so much fun to be a part of this event, to share in the culmination of this project into which they have invested so much of themselves and their time. the music, besides the fact that it is well written, arranged and played, carries with it the energy of the kingdom. the themes and currents of their songs resonate deeply within me. thanks to the cobalt season for making something beautiful happen these last couple nights; it was an honor to be a part of this.

i have found myself reconnecting these last few days with some of the core parts of bethany's and my journey, and the things that brought us together and have compelled us to take the path we now travel. things like this, this , and this are a few of the things i have come across this week which have reawakened my soul to the things which propel me forward in my quest to follow the way of Jesus in the world. it seems right that i try to create some music to express this re-invigoration i have experienced--creating music is something i have been out of touch with for some time, so i look forward to seeing where this will take me...

back home

well, we are back from a wild weekend of captivating discourse...i mean who wouldn't want to spend their weekend hearing about pressure ulcers, biostatistical interpretive processes and analysis of strategic organizational process!!

honestly though, it was a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with family, celebrate bethany's birthday and stay up late talking. i especially enjoyed being at carrie's house, as we all stood crowded in the kitchen, talking loudly, strawberry (in honor of bethany's favorite fruit) margaritas in hand, just being together.



my nephew gavin loves it when i hold him and dance with him as i sing my own remix of sarah brightman's "time to say goodbye". as i clutch him in my arms and twirl around, singing rather obnoxiously, gavin closes his eyes, throws his head back, and laughs until he almost throws up. every time he does this, it touches this profound space in my heart, often brining tears to my eyes...



be well this week.

update

so, a couple of exciting things have gone down this week. bethany transferred to a new unit, a step-down trauma unit, and she loves it. for the first time in her nursing career of 4 months, she feels like the nurses around her are supportive (i.e. she doesn't come home feeling like $hit after every shift). i am very excited for her...she now feels like she is going to become the kind of nurse that she wants to be.

also, it looks like we are going to be moving out of our current place a bit earlier than Jan...its looking like October. i talked to our property manager today, whose name is either Loletta or Loretta, i don't quite know yet, nor do i know how to ask without coming off as completely culturally incompetent. she was totally supportive of our request to move out early, so we can hang out at our friends Ryan and & Holly's place while they are on tour with their new album. we only live a couple miles to the west of the action in san francisco, but sometimes it feels as though we might as well live in another city altogether. we want to be closer to the community of people we have connected with so we can share more of life together. it would be nice to be closer to public transit and our jobs as well. didn't expect that conversation with the landlord to go as well as it did so i was pretty stoked.

ok, so i am a little scared to do this, but i am going to post the first poem i have written since about 5th grade; this reflects some of my thoughts lately:

a small piece of the truth has found me.

i know that the experience of eternity ought to begin here,today,
but if i am honest with myself,
i didn’t have faith it would materialize.

so vibrant and alive, finally i can look down and see flecks from the soil of life dirtying my hands. i don’t want to wash it off.

i refuse to ask any more to be cleansed from the mysterious thing which unites us.

energy and time unwittingly spent becoming less than who i was created to be will change...now.

signs of hope

our friends Ryan and Holly Sharp have just finished their latest album In Search of a Unified Theory. listening to their songs, raw with frustration, longing and hope, driven by piano and guitar sprinkled with strings and chimes reminds me that there are still some people out there who are living honestly. this album is inspiring. the band is called the cobalt season, and they are releasing the new album on May 27th at goat hall in San Francisco.

bittersweet

so, yesterday was bethany's first solo day on the floor as a nurse at San Francisco General's 6A ward. she finished her training as a new nurse graduate, hooraay!

things did not go well.

she had to work for 14.5 hours straight...no breaks. she had a staggering patient load, including patients receiving medication she hadn't been trained on. she started work @ 7am and missed the 9pm shuttle back home, so i went and picked up my sweet, tear-soaked wife sitting in the parking lot near a group of patients who had slipped out for a bedtime smoke.


so now we are trying to decide what to do; whether bethany should quit her job, work part time there and somewehere else, stick it out--no answers yet. she has had a rough go of it since january when she started there.

the type of patients that are seen at that hospital are the ones we want to care for: the poor and marginalized, largely forgotten by society. however, since this job has caused bethany so much pain, and her training has not been adequate, we are beginning to consider alternative options.

however, when we finally arrived home, i did have a meal prepared with some of bethany's favorite things:

.boba (taro flavor)
.blueberry corn pancakes
.homestyle potatoes
.fried egg with pepper jack cheese
.champagne
.chocolate

we managed to laugh a bit after dinner. that was good.