so tonight was the Cobalt Season's album release party in San Francisco. it was so much fun to be a part of this event, to share in the culmination of this project into which they have invested so much of themselves and their time. the music, besides the fact that it is well written, arranged and played, carries with it the energy of the kingdom. the themes and currents of their songs resonate deeply within me. thanks to the cobalt season for making something beautiful happen these last couple nights; it was an honor to be a part of this.

i have found myself reconnecting these last few days with some of the core parts of bethany's and my journey, and the things that brought us together and have compelled us to take the path we now travel. things like this, this , and this are a few of the things i have come across this week which have reawakened my soul to the things which propel me forward in my quest to follow the way of Jesus in the world. it seems right that i try to create some music to express this re-invigoration i have experienced--creating music is something i have been out of touch with for some time, so i look forward to seeing where this will take me...

back home

well, we are back from a wild weekend of captivating discourse...i mean who wouldn't want to spend their weekend hearing about pressure ulcers, biostatistical interpretive processes and analysis of strategic organizational process!!

honestly though, it was a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with family, celebrate bethany's birthday and stay up late talking. i especially enjoyed being at carrie's house, as we all stood crowded in the kitchen, talking loudly, strawberry (in honor of bethany's favorite fruit) margaritas in hand, just being together.



my nephew gavin loves it when i hold him and dance with him as i sing my own remix of sarah brightman's "time to say goodbye". as i clutch him in my arms and twirl around, singing rather obnoxiously, gavin closes his eyes, throws his head back, and laughs until he almost throws up. every time he does this, it touches this profound space in my heart, often brining tears to my eyes...



be well this week.

update

so, a couple of exciting things have gone down this week. bethany transferred to a new unit, a step-down trauma unit, and she loves it. for the first time in her nursing career of 4 months, she feels like the nurses around her are supportive (i.e. she doesn't come home feeling like $hit after every shift). i am very excited for her...she now feels like she is going to become the kind of nurse that she wants to be.

also, it looks like we are going to be moving out of our current place a bit earlier than Jan...its looking like October. i talked to our property manager today, whose name is either Loletta or Loretta, i don't quite know yet, nor do i know how to ask without coming off as completely culturally incompetent. she was totally supportive of our request to move out early, so we can hang out at our friends Ryan and & Holly's place while they are on tour with their new album. we only live a couple miles to the west of the action in san francisco, but sometimes it feels as though we might as well live in another city altogether. we want to be closer to the community of people we have connected with so we can share more of life together. it would be nice to be closer to public transit and our jobs as well. didn't expect that conversation with the landlord to go as well as it did so i was pretty stoked.

ok, so i am a little scared to do this, but i am going to post the first poem i have written since about 5th grade; this reflects some of my thoughts lately:

a small piece of the truth has found me.

i know that the experience of eternity ought to begin here,today,
but if i am honest with myself,
i didn’t have faith it would materialize.

so vibrant and alive, finally i can look down and see flecks from the soil of life dirtying my hands. i don’t want to wash it off.

i refuse to ask any more to be cleansed from the mysterious thing which unites us.

energy and time unwittingly spent becoming less than who i was created to be will change...now.

signs of hope

our friends Ryan and Holly Sharp have just finished their latest album In Search of a Unified Theory. listening to their songs, raw with frustration, longing and hope, driven by piano and guitar sprinkled with strings and chimes reminds me that there are still some people out there who are living honestly. this album is inspiring. the band is called the cobalt season, and they are releasing the new album on May 27th at goat hall in San Francisco.

bittersweet

so, yesterday was bethany's first solo day on the floor as a nurse at San Francisco General's 6A ward. she finished her training as a new nurse graduate, hooraay!

things did not go well.

she had to work for 14.5 hours straight...no breaks. she had a staggering patient load, including patients receiving medication she hadn't been trained on. she started work @ 7am and missed the 9pm shuttle back home, so i went and picked up my sweet, tear-soaked wife sitting in the parking lot near a group of patients who had slipped out for a bedtime smoke.


so now we are trying to decide what to do; whether bethany should quit her job, work part time there and somewehere else, stick it out--no answers yet. she has had a rough go of it since january when she started there.

the type of patients that are seen at that hospital are the ones we want to care for: the poor and marginalized, largely forgotten by society. however, since this job has caused bethany so much pain, and her training has not been adequate, we are beginning to consider alternative options.

however, when we finally arrived home, i did have a meal prepared with some of bethany's favorite things:

.boba (taro flavor)
.blueberry corn pancakes
.homestyle potatoes
.fried egg with pepper jack cheese
.champagne
.chocolate

we managed to laugh a bit after dinner. that was good.