one year

yesterday marked the end of my first full year working full time as an emergency nurse at highland hospital in oakland, ca. i am finding it hard to believe that i have been there for an entire year, about as long as i have been living in san francisco. i am so thankful for this job. i feel honored for the opportunity to spend some time in this sometimes dark place. i have learned an immense amount about the human body and the way it responds to disease, trauma and emotional stressors. i have learned about society and its systems which favor some and keep others down. i have been challenged to be a champion for those who are vulnerable and poor in an environment which may actually be hostile toward their plight at times; i have not always been this....there are days that i replay at times, and feel like i failed those whom i could have helped and empowered more fully. there are days when i feel like i am bringing love, bringing life, and there are days when i acquiesce to the darkness which attempts to infiltrate....spitting cynicism and judgment, fearful of what others may think of me if i say or do things differently. may God forgive me for those days.

i have passed a milestone today. bethany & i are going to be completely done with school debt within this year, progressing forward in living into our dreams of doing humanitarian work among the world's poor.

in spite of the beautiful sunshine and crisp, clean san francisco air, i am weighed down today for some reason. i am going to go for a nice long run, let it all go, and enjoy the good creation, breathing in wholeness and life.


that's all for now. peace. i'll post a drawing a bit later.