please go see sicko. this movie is pretty amazing. yes, michael moore is a polarizing figure. yes, he has been accused of various offenses in his negative portrayal of the american system and being starry-eyed over france, britain and (noooooooo....)cuba. forget all of that for 113 minutes and check this one out. i was in tears several times (so what if i'm a male nurse? you got a problem?).
seriously, i hope something changes...i work day in and day out with people who have been so jacked by the system...hell, i am a part of this apparatus; however, i know that i am making a difference in their lives, attempting to show them a new way of love...i am fast gaining a reputation at work as the guy who will feed everybody multiple hospital sandwiches, even the so-called "frequent flyers", homeless dudes who show up every night to sleep off their toxic blood alchohol level...who couldn't use a sandwich or 4 for the road?
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
i'm back.
i have been a naughty blogger...i'll try to check in more frequently.
bethany and i both worked 6 of the last 7 nights. wow. surprisingly we were able to get into somewhat of a nocturnal rhythm during our miniature rat race marathon....however, we now have 7 glorious days off--days in which we must complete 4 final papers-> this semester is hell. i personally enjoyed getting into a good working rhythm and it really allowed me to immerse myself into the subculture of the work environment of which i am now a part and get to know some of my co-workers.
i feel like i have seen quite a handful in the last week, including a person whose heart literally stopped beating in front of me (no, seriously, i was looking at the cardiac monitor as it happened, i yelled "code blue!"......
sweat poured from my arms, cascaded from my hair...i continued to pump this woman's reluctant heart for her...my whole body moved rhythmically, my own heart pleading for her as the jackhammering motion of my hands became the fragile bridge between life and death. if i stop, she dies. if i don't stop, she may still die, but her body may awaken, thanks to some unknowable algorithm composed of spiritual, medical and mechanical forces. you see, during CPR (or a "code blue" in hospitalspeak), those who are performing chest compressions to circulate life-sustaining blood, oxygen and nutrients to the body's tissues are supposed to switch with others in the room frequently to avoid decreasing the quality of chest compressions, and thus inefficient circulation. i refused to let anyone take over for me...i told my body to shut the hell up as my arms burned and my calves felt like they were on fire. i felt a connection to this person lying on the gurney, naked, most likely poor, barely having lived 50 years on this earth. with a few short breaks, i am sure that i did at least 40 minutes worth of continuous CPR...with one of the doctors feeling for a pulse as i tried to coerce her failing body to function once again. i guess it was her time. she did not make it, and as her family showed up to see their mother/daughter/wife/aunt, tubes, lines, cords strewn about her broken body, they seemed to be at peace with what had happened. i suppose that is some consolation.
in such a diverse environment as the one in downtown Oakland, people deal with death in such different and interesting ways, getting angry, or crying, rubbing herbs and balms on the body, praying, lying the body on the floor.....there is something beautiful about seeing something many centuries old being practiced..almost performed it seems.
so some lady in a suburban crashed into me on the way home from work yesterday...i was turning right at a green light, and she crashed into my rear driver's side door. anyhow, she was very angry with me and felt like i swerved and crashed into her. the point being i really thought that this lady was one of my former patients!! funny how things happen. i hope this isn't karma. well, my car was damaged, hers was fine, and she told me that she was not hurt (i had scrubs on and all, i'm SURE she would've told me if she were hurt). i called the insurance company, gave a statement and come to find later that the other driver has filed a dispute about the accident, and is claiming bodily injury and vehicular damage. i have now been on the phone more than once, being recorded for half an hour with people asking me what happened, and such details as "did the marks separating the lanes have any reflective surfacing?" come on, that's just ridiculous. during one of my recorded monologues i went peacemaker-status on their lawyer asses...really though, i did spend a couple minutes articulating my desire for peaceful revolution to this. the lady seemed pretty angry at me.
well that's probably enough for now, ya think?
bethany and i both worked 6 of the last 7 nights. wow. surprisingly we were able to get into somewhat of a nocturnal rhythm during our miniature rat race marathon....however, we now have 7 glorious days off--days in which we must complete 4 final papers-> this semester is hell. i personally enjoyed getting into a good working rhythm and it really allowed me to immerse myself into the subculture of the work environment of which i am now a part and get to know some of my co-workers.
i feel like i have seen quite a handful in the last week, including a person whose heart literally stopped beating in front of me (no, seriously, i was looking at the cardiac monitor as it happened, i yelled "code blue!"......
sweat poured from my arms, cascaded from my hair...i continued to pump this woman's reluctant heart for her...my whole body moved rhythmically, my own heart pleading for her as the jackhammering motion of my hands became the fragile bridge between life and death. if i stop, she dies. if i don't stop, she may still die, but her body may awaken, thanks to some unknowable algorithm composed of spiritual, medical and mechanical forces. you see, during CPR (or a "code blue" in hospitalspeak), those who are performing chest compressions to circulate life-sustaining blood, oxygen and nutrients to the body's tissues are supposed to switch with others in the room frequently to avoid decreasing the quality of chest compressions, and thus inefficient circulation. i refused to let anyone take over for me...i told my body to shut the hell up as my arms burned and my calves felt like they were on fire. i felt a connection to this person lying on the gurney, naked, most likely poor, barely having lived 50 years on this earth. with a few short breaks, i am sure that i did at least 40 minutes worth of continuous CPR...with one of the doctors feeling for a pulse as i tried to coerce her failing body to function once again. i guess it was her time. she did not make it, and as her family showed up to see their mother/daughter/wife/aunt, tubes, lines, cords strewn about her broken body, they seemed to be at peace with what had happened. i suppose that is some consolation.
in such a diverse environment as the one in downtown Oakland, people deal with death in such different and interesting ways, getting angry, or crying, rubbing herbs and balms on the body, praying, lying the body on the floor.....there is something beautiful about seeing something many centuries old being practiced..almost performed it seems.
so some lady in a suburban crashed into me on the way home from work yesterday...i was turning right at a green light, and she crashed into my rear driver's side door. anyhow, she was very angry with me and felt like i swerved and crashed into her. the point being i really thought that this lady was one of my former patients!! funny how things happen. i hope this isn't karma. well, my car was damaged, hers was fine, and she told me that she was not hurt (i had scrubs on and all, i'm SURE she would've told me if she were hurt). i called the insurance company, gave a statement and come to find later that the other driver has filed a dispute about the accident, and is claiming bodily injury and vehicular damage. i have now been on the phone more than once, being recorded for half an hour with people asking me what happened, and such details as "did the marks separating the lanes have any reflective surfacing?" come on, that's just ridiculous. during one of my recorded monologues i went peacemaker-status on their lawyer asses...really though, i did spend a couple minutes articulating my desire for peaceful revolution to this. the lady seemed pretty angry at me.
well that's probably enough for now, ya think?
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